A Book’s Note: Fate, Adulthood, Thoughts
The first note is from Elizabeth Gilbert’s: Eat, Pray, Love. Beautiful part about fate and controlling thoughts. Here’s some highlighted paragraphs from the book:
Destiny, I feel, is also relationship — a play between divine grace and willful self-effort. Half of it you have no control over; half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consequence. Man is neither entirely a puppet of the gods, nor he is entirely the captain of his own destiny; he’s a little of both.
We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horses — one foot is on the horse called “fate” the other on the horse called “free will”. And the question you have to ask everyday is, which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it’s not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?
There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jusridiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I eat and read and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life — whether I will see them as curses or opportunities (and on the occasions when I can’t rise to the most optimistic viewpoint, because I’m feeling too damn sorry for myself, I can choose to keep trying to change my outlook). I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.
“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select what clothes you’re gonna wear every day. This is power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control. Drop everything else but that. Because if you can’t learn to master your thinking, you’re in deep trouble forever.”
On first glance, this seems a nearly impossible task. Control your thoughts? Instead of other way around? But imagine if you could? This is not about repression or denial. Repression and denial set up elaborate games to pretend that negative thoughts and feelings are not occuring. What is been talked about is instead admitting to the existence of negative thoughts, understanding where they came from and why they arrived, and then — with great forgiveness and fortitude — dismissing them.
This is a practice that fits hand-in-glove with any psychological work you do during therapy. You can use shrink’s office to understand why you have these destructive thoughts in the first place; you can use spiritual exercises to help overcome them. It’s a sacrifice to let them go, of course. It’s a loss of old habits, comforting old grudges and familiar vignettes. Of course this all takes practice and effort. It’s not a teaching that you can hear once and then expect to master immediately. It’s constant vigilance, and I want to do it. I need to do it, for my strength. Devo farmi le ossa is how they say it in Italian. “I need to make my bones.”
The second one is about secrets of adulthood, from Gretchen Rubin’s: The Happiness Project. Here’s the highlight points from her list that being kept as note:
People don’t notice your mistakes as much as you think.
It’s okay to ask for help.
Most decisions don’t require extensive research.
Do good, feel good. It’s important to be nice to everyone.
By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
If you can’t find something, clean up.
You can choose what you do; you can’t choose what you like to do.
What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
You don’t have to be good at everything.
If you’re not failing, you’re not trying hard enough.
Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
What’s fun for other people may not be fun for you — and vice versa.
No deposit, no return.
That’s all, a little note from books that have the same goal in explain the meaning of happiness, hope it helps!
